“Forgiveness and Unforgiveness
(Matthew 18:21-35)
Series: God’s Fulfilled Promise [on screen]
Rev. Matthew C. McCraw, EdD
First Baptist Church, Bartow, Florida
March 1, 2020
The Passage
Matthew 18:21-35
21 Then Peter approached him and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? As many as seven times?” 22 “I tell you, not as many as seven,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven.
23 “For this reason, the kingdom of heaven can be compared to a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24 When he began to settle accounts, one who owed ten thousand talents was brought before him. 25 Since he did not have the money to pay it back, his master commanded that he, his wife, his children, and everything he had be sold to pay the debt.
26 “At this, the servant fell facedown before him and said, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay you everything’ 27 Then the master of that servant had compassion, released him, and forgave him the loan.
28 “That servant went out and found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii. He grabbed him, started choking him, and said, ‘Pay what you owe!’
29 “At this, his fellow servant fell down and began begging him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.’ 30 But he wasn’t willing. Instead, he went and threw him into prison until he could pay what was owed. 31 When the other servants saw what had taken place, they were deeply distressed and went and reported to their master everything that had happened. 32 Then, after he had summoned him, his master said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me. 33 Shouldn’t you also have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’ 34 And because he was angry, his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured until he could pay everything that was owed. 35 So also my heavenly Father will do to you unless every one of you forgives his brother or sister from your heart.”
Introductory Comments:
There are a lot of extreme things in the world.
The tallest building in the world is 2,717 feet tall. That’s an extremely tall building! (Burj Khalifa in Dubai) [show picture on screen]
The most children born to one woman was 69. That’s an extremely large brood of children! (Valentina Vassilyev) [show picture on screen]
The largest church in the world has 830,000 members. That’s an extremely large amount of church members! (Yoido Full Gospel Church in South Korea) [show picture on screen]
The longest hair in the world was to a woman whose hair was over 18 feet long. That’s some extremely long hair! (Xie Qiuping) [show picture on screen]
The fastest car in the world can go 304 miles per hour. That’s an extremely fast car! (Bugatti Chiron Super Sport) [show picture on screen]
The largest swimming pool in the world is 3,324 feet long and holds 19.77 acres of water. That’s an extremely large pool! (San Alfonso del Mar resort) [show picture on screen]
If something is extreme it means that it is to a large degree or a large amount of something.
In today’s passage, Jesus is going to give us some extremes. He’s going to teach us some truths that are off the scale in terms of the impact it has on our faith and in our lives.
Before we look at these extremes, let’s pray together and ask God to bless us for His glory.
(prayer)
Last week we learned that Jesus wants us to pursue our fellow Christians who may be wandering in their faith. Further, we learned that Jesus lays out a model for how we could call another Christian to repentance. If you missed last week, go to our website or jump on our podcast to check it out later today. These two passages go together as one package.
Today, Peter follows up that discussion with a question regarding the repentance of our brother and sister in Christ. If we are to call our fellow Christians to repentance, particularly if they have offended us, how many times must we forgive them?
Let’s learn these extreme truths that Jesus reveals as He answers this question for us.
First, . . .
I. Extreme standards (vv. 21-22) [on screen]
Jesus has extreme standards when it comes to the number of times that we are to forgive a fellow Christian. Listen to the question from Peter and Jesus’ answer to Peter. Look at verses 21 and 22.
21 Then Peter approached him and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? As many as seven times?” 22 “I tell you, not as many as seven,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven.”
Many people don’t even want to forgive someone once, so they think one time is generous.
The Jewish rabbis (or teachers) of Jesus’ day taught that you are to be more generous than that and said that you should forgive someone of an offense up to three times.
Peter went the extra mile. He more than doubled the recommendation of the leading Jewish teachers and he bumped it all the way up to seven times. Peter probably felt like he was really raising the bar and that he was being super generous.
However, Jesus took it to the extreme! Jesus said we should forgive our brother or sister in Christ seventy times seven times. Now, for those of you who didn’t come prepared to do math today, that is 490 times! That’s extreme.
Now to be clear, some scholars say that Jesus wasn’t actually saying seventy times seven times, but that He was saying seventy-seven times. Well, seventy-seven is also extreme.
The point is not to keep a scrap of paper with tally marks for how many times you have forgiven someone until you reach seventy-seven or 490. Jesus is again using hyperbole (or extreme exaggeration) to make a point. He is basically saying that if our brother or sister is genuinely repenting of their sin, we should forgive them an unlimited number of times. That is extreme!
Jesus is putting this extreme standard in front of us. Surely, Jesus could anticipate that this might seem extreme to Peter, and to us, so He offers us a parable to help us better understand this extreme standard. We call this the parable of the unforgiving servant. This is an earthly story to help us understand a heavenly truth.
Let’s check it out by looking at this next truth that Jesus is sharing with us:
II. Extreme forgiveness (vv. 23-27) [on screen]
Jesus provides this story to give us a picture of God’s forgiveness shown to us. He does so by telling a story of a servant (or a subject) who owed a great debt to a king. Let’s begin the story in verses 23-27:
23 “For this reason, the kingdom of heaven can be compared to a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24 When he began to settle accounts, one who owed ten thousand talents was brought before him. 25 Since he did not have the money to pay it back, his master commanded that he, his wife, his children, and everything he had be sold to pay the debt.
26 “At this, the servant fell facedown before him and said, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay you everything’ 27 Then the master of that servant had compassion, released him, and forgave him the loan.”
This king began to line up his subjects (those in his kingdom) who owed him money. As he does so, this one comes before him who owes 10,000 talents.
Now, scholars have tried to calculate how much this would be in today’s money and it’s basically a ginormous amount that is beyond comprehension. It would be more money than was in all of Israel at the time Jesus’ hearers heard this. This is an extreme amount of money.
Obviously, this man is unable to pay what he owes the king, so the king plans to sell him and his family into slavery to collect some of the money that this man owes him.
The man throws himself at the feet of the king and begs for mercy. The king not only shows the man mercy, but he shows him grace. He not only doesn’t sell him into slavery, which he deserves, but he forgives his debt, which he does not deserve.
The king shows the man extreme forgiveness!
It’s not hard to make the leap to understand how the first part of this parable applies to our standing before God. God has shown us extreme forgiveness! Our sins are an offense against Him and the penalty that we deserve for our sins is one that we can never pay back, even if we tried our entire lives.
However, God is a God of grace and offers complete forgiveness of our sins found in the work of Jesus Christ in His death, burial, and resurrection.
In Jesus, we experience extreme forgiveness! In this parable, we are like the servant and God is like the king in His extreme grace and forgiveness.
However, this is not the end of the parable and this is not the end of Jesus’ teaching for us.
We see something happen with this servant, which leads us to discover . . .
III. Extreme inconsistency (vv. 28-30) [on screen]
This man has experienced great forgiveness, but he seems to have an issue giving forgiveness to others. Let’s see what happens in verses 28-30.
28 “That servant went out and found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii. He grabbed him, started choking him, and said, ‘Pay what you owe!’
29 “At this, his fellow servant fell down and began begging him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.’ 30 But he wasn’t willing. Instead, he went and threw him into prison until he could pay what was owed.”
Now, this guy is not very nice, is he? This is why some people call this parable the parable of the wicked servant. This man is wicked!
I wrestled with the word to describe this man’s attitude, and I came up with inconsistency. This is selfish, it is worldly, it is double-minded, it is fleshly, it is greedy, it is evil, it is calloused, it is hardened, it is stubborn. This is extreme inconsistency.
How could this man, in his right mind, think that it was ok to treat someone this way, after he had just received such grace?
The fellow servant owed the man a hundred denarii, which was a much smaller debt than what the first man owed the king. Yet, in his evil selfishness, he choked and imprisoned his fellow servant.
Now, again, it doesn’t take much to discover the lesson for us, and we much catch this, church: God has shown us an inestimable amount of grace when He forgave us of our sins in Jesus. How could we not also extend forgiveness, even over 490 times, to our brothers and sisters in Christ?
How extremely inconsistent it would be for us to behave this way. Yet, so many of us do! So many of us are holding on to anger and unforgiveness. This is not just a hypothetical for some Christians somewhere. Many of us in this room today are holding on to bitterness and unforgiveness, and we are spiritually extremely inconsistent.
If you’ve been offended or hurt by a family member; a fellow-church member; a former pastor; a current pastor; a Christian co-worker, a classmate, or a friend; or any other brother or sister in Christ, the whole scope of Matthew 18 makes it clear that you must seek reconciliation and you must seek forgiveness.
This is the extreme standard to which Jesus holds us because we have experienced the extreme forgiveness of God, so let us not live in extreme inconsistency.
By the way, there’s a truth that Jesus reveals about us if we are living in this extreme inconsistency. Let’s see the rest of the passage. Let’s discover our final truth:
IV. Extreme reality (vv. 31-35) [on screen]
Look at verses 31-35.
“31 When the other servants saw what had taken place, they were deeply distressed and went and reported to their master everything that had happened. 32 Then, after he had summoned him, his master said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me. 33 Shouldn’t you also have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’ 34 And because he was angry, his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured until he could pay everything that was owed. 35 So also my heavenly Father will do to you unless every one of you forgives his brother or sister from your heart.”
Oh, what an important and extreme reality this is. Jesus says very clearly, after the story is over, that God the Father has punishment reserved for those who are unforgiving. This extreme reality demands some unpacking.
First of all, notice the king’s judgment on the servant. The king says, “Shouldn’t you also have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?” The grace that the king showed to the servant was so great that it demanded that he show grace towards others. Let that sink in, church. The grace that God has shown you and me is so extreme and profoundly deep that we should be so full of grace that we are radiating grace in every direction.
The grace of God should cause us to become people of grace.
Because of his lack of change, the king pronounced a judgment upon the servant that could never be paid. He would forever be imprisoned and tortured.
Then, the scary connection for us: Jesus says these powerful words, “So also.” That means that we must learn from this. There is truth here that we must grasp. Here’s the truth: if we are not people of forgiveness, we will also not be people who are forgiven.
The natural question then, “Is God’s forgiveness conditional?” Well, yes and no.
God’s forgiveness of us is not conditional in the sense that each and every decision we make affects whether or not we are forgiven by God. We are not in danger of losing our salvation based on a sinful decision we make one day.
However, God’s forgiveness is conditional in the sense that we must really be changed in order to receive God’s forgiveness. We must really give our hearts to Jesus. We must really seek repentance.
We can’t just say a magical prayer, walk a church aisle, get baptized, go to church, or commit any other religious act and think that we are truly forgiven by God. We don’t experience God’s grace simply because we’re around other Christians, we come to church every week, we’re Conservative, we’re on a church membership roster, or any other superficial reason.
We’re only truly changed by Jesus when we’re truly changed by Jesus. We’re only truly forgiven by Jesus when we turn ourselves over completely to Him
God’s forgiveness is conditional in this sense (and this is what Jesus is getting at here in this parable): God’s forgiveness of our sins is conditioned upon the fact that we truly turn ourselves over to Him and allow Him to truly change us.
Here’s the extreme reality for us: if we are not willing to forgive, it demonstrates that our hearts have not really been changed by God and we are in danger of the eternal judgment of God.
We should fear unforgiveness in our hearts. It should drive us to our knees before God to ask Him to change our hearts.
Some of us may be tempted to think, “Well, pastor you don’t really understand. This person hasn’t changed, they haven’t really repented, I can’t forgive them.” Well, remember, this follows Jesus’ model of rebuking someone who is in sin. If they haven’t truly changed their behavior, you should continue to call them to forgiveness. However, think of this also, that same standard that we hold others to, shouldn’t we hold ourselves to that standard as well? If we say that we’ve asked for forgiveness before God, but our lives haven’t changed at all, what does that mean? Doesn’t it mean that we haven’t repented? The same logic we use toward others should be applied to us. This is Jesus’ point!
Concluding Thoughts:
Dr. R. C. Sproul said it well when he said, “An unforgiving heart is an unforgiven heart.”
This life to which Jesus calls us is not easy, it is extreme. However, we have been changed by the extreme grace of Jesus Christ, our Lord!
That takes us to our bottom line:
Bottom Line: The extreme grace of Jesus must lead us to be people of extreme grace. [on screen]
(repeat)
We are a forgiven people so we must be forgiving people.
We’re not operating with our natural feelings, we’re operating with our new, supernatural, Gospel-changed nature.
Here’s a final encouragement to display this type of grace, given by the apostle Paul in Ephesians 4:32: And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ. [on screen]
Jesus and Paul agree and they are both calling us to live changed lives. Lives changed by grace.
Challenge yourself this week in the following ways:
Weekly Challenge: [on screen]
- Consider Jesus’ forgiveness. [on screen]
What does the forgiveness of Jesus mean in your life? How has the forgiveness of Jesus changed your life?
Consider this week the impact and the implications of the forgiveness of Jesus in your life.
- Consider your lack of forgiveness. [on screen]
Perhaps you have some unforgiveness in your heart. Perhaps you are harboring unforgiveness against someone who doesn’t even know it. Maybe you need to go back to last week’s sermon and approach your brother or sister in Christ to let them know how they’ve sinned against you.
Also, if you are still holding onto unforgiveness and you are not willing to let go, consider what that means in your life. Consider the words of Jesus. Consider your salvation.
Let me fill you in on something: you don’t want to mess around with God. Get right with God. You can’t fool God. You can’t fake it till you make it with Christianity. You’re either changed by Jesus or you’re not changed by Jesus.
Closing:
This week, let us consider the extreme life to which Jesus has called us and let us live as people full of extreme love, extreme grace, extreme forgiveness, and extreme devotion to Jesus. Live as those who have been changed!
If you haven’t been changed by Jesus, be changed today!
(Gospel presentation)
(closing prayer)
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